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Archivista Cristina Rossi ( cristir@ministeroc.it )
Ministero degli Culturale
Piazzale della Farnesina, 3-4006 Roma
The Borgia clan, most brilliant and ruthless in medieval Italy, recorded the earliest mention of Virago Penne Mejor, in Ferrara, circa 1503. A court favorite of Lucrezia Borgia, the princess paid him magnificent sums for what we now term "private investigator" work. This was the time of the Borgia feud with the rival Medici clan. The author is identified only as Amedeo and appears to be a Borgia Court clerk.
Amedeo wrote:The Lady did make sport of the Court of the Holy Pope one evening, God have mercy on her soul, and bid the bishops and accolites to kiss her feet, and to kiss her hand as if She were His Holiness, long may He live. Signor Mejor all the while watched for furtive signs, and guile, and lack of allegiance to Her Ladyship as Her Ladyship's profane play progressed.
It is an historically famous incident and matches other observations. Also, I found in the restricted sections a leather-bound book. Partially burned, but otherwise well-preserved from what appears to be spilled wax, it is a diary entry written by Virago Penne Mejor:
It was past the hour of commerce and of supper. Alone in my office. I was drinking an unfinished bottled of yestereve's wine to go with the unfinished business of yestereve's court play. Thinking about those who seem overly eager to please My Lady. Thinking about the rent and the rats.
A knock on the door had my sword in hand before the echo died, and in she walked. She was a madonna with rosa wine-colored hair and an intoxicating voice to match. She was a Medici.
"Mind if I have a seat?" she asked, but before I could answer, she put hers on my desk.
Her gown was so tight, there was no room for impure thoughts.
It had the blessed trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit - embroidered across her chest. The Son was outmatched by two enormous talents.
"So how's business, Signor Mejor," she asked in a voice that sounded like cognac feels. I pushed my sword slowly, gently, into its baldrick.
"Benissimo, Signora. A grazzi," I said, sliding a glass of wine across the desk. "So what's a Medici like you doing in a place like this?"
"Grazzi, Signor," she said, her hazel eyes finding me over the glass rim. "I need your help Signor Virago."
Classic example of il babino playing friendly to get my rates down.
"My help? Your husband cheating on you and you want me to have him exposed at court. $500 Lira retainer, plus expenses," I said.
She shook her head so gently, no.
"So your lover is cheating on you and you want your husband to discover his "unwanted" advances. Force them to duel. $700 Lira retainer, plus expenses. $900 if I have to make sure someone dies."
Her glowing cascades swept her chest, no.
"First, I want you to unzip me." She turned around and arched her back toward me. She indicated a zipper end and motioned me to pull on it. My analytic mind noted a subtlety - this is the middle ages, there are no zippers yet."Buona. I have a womanservant for such duties...," I said.
Just then she slid $1500 Lira off her shoulders like a waterfall.
"But, no reason to trouble my womanservant, it is late," I said, and went to work.
Then she stepped out of her madonna skin. I had a space alien in my office. Big pulsing brain, tentacles, the usual.
The diary ends there. Court documents show Virago Mejor and the Medici woman married and had many children.
Amedeo records a final Borgia Court scene between Virago and Lucrezia Borgia.
Angered by his apparent faltering loyalty to the Borgias and his attentions to
the redhead from the rival Medici clan, Lucrezia demanded an explanation.
Amedeo wrote:
Il Signor Mejor kneeled before her highness and was fearful.
"She's not really a Medici, " he said. " I mean she's got tentacles. She squeezes like a python!"
The Princess was impatient: "My dear Virago, you but describe all people who are in love."
"She's not from around here, your Highness. You should see her without her -"
The Princess cut him off, "You may leave my court and my country forever or you may stay and die for this insult. The choice is yours."
The court record indicates Virago moved his family to Sevilla, Spain. You may wish to contact Juan Villamonte ( jvillam@mec.es ), of the Archivo Histórico Nacional in Madrid.
